the first santa argument

2004-11-09 - 4:34 p.m.

It was bound to happen sooner or later... it just took me by surprise, that's all.

My mother and I have always had a very tense relationshipp: she's overly critical of everything that I do, completely unsupportive of me, basically, it's not a happy relationship. That changed somewhat when Dumpling came along, because she has wanted a grandchild for so long, I figured she was giving me a pass on some stuff just to get her hands on the baby. She's critized how I dress her and how I feed her, but in general, she knows not to piss me off.
Today however, she called me and asked me if she could take the Dumpling to the Santa Claus parade this Saturday at 11:00 am.

First off, 11:00 am is nap time and I'm very strict about morning nap time (otherwise lunch is a nightmare). Second, well, it's on Saturday. And third, it's the SANTA CLAUS parade....
I told her I would speak to hubby and call her back because I just didn't want to start a fight without figuring out exactely what my stand was going to be.

I called her back a few hours later and explained to her that we were uncomfortable with the Santa parade, especially since it was on a Saturday. I told her we would allow Dumpling to celebrate the holidays at their house but that our house was a jewish household, that she would be raised as such and that a Santa parade on Saturday would be too confusing.
Of course, her first argument was that she was too young to know it was Shabbat. Well, I understand that, but in 3 years, when we put our foot down, I can just see my mother arguing that we've let her do it for 3 years, how can we stop now??? Also, I'm afraid to open a door I won't be able to shut: how much can I allow? It's not like my mother gives a damn about the religious part of the holidays. She's never gone to church, doesn't believe in anything, for her, it's all about the presents. Which is why we made the decision to allow Dumpling to celebrate with them: we'll explain it to her as a present-holiday and when she's older, she'll understand that I chose judaism.

My mother deteriorated the argument by saying something like she hoped Dumpling would have the option to choose for herself. This made me very angry. Obviously, as someone who chose my religion as an adult, I will have to give my child the same choice. And again, it sounded so weird, since it's not like I turned my back on years of christian devotion or anything.
So the whole thing as left a sour taste in my mouth, now my mom is pissed and I just don't know what to do about it. We're already allowing lots of leaway, I just can't bend on this one.....

On a lighter note, I'm totally ashamed to admit that I really enjoyed the first episode of Big Fat Obnoxious Boss.... It's so over the top, it's incredible that people would submit themselves to this. But I guess if you really want to be on tv.... I must admit I wasn't smart enough to figure out the boss' name was an anagram for Donald Trump, but I want to state for the record that even before I read the boards, I told my husband I thought the secret boss was a monkey... so if that's what it turns out to be, I KNEW IT!!!

Anything to add? 6

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