2004-05-15 - 5:23 p.m.

I look like I lost a fight with the Crayola Crayons: I'm exhausted, smelly, and covered in about 40 colors from painting the mural. Except for the curtains, the baby's room is D*O*N*E! he clothes are hung, her bed is made, the mural is painted. As soon as the curtains are done and hung, I promise to show you guys pictures. probably as early as tomorrow night.

I am a big cranky ball of emotions. I cry at the mere thought of Dumpling (or a long distance commercial), I get angry for no reason whatsoever (the dogs are particularly getting on my nerves), and I am totally panicking every 10 minutes....

If the water in the pool was warmer, I'd take a dip to relax, but 68 is too damn cold!

That's about all you're gonna get out of me today, but I promise more, with pics tomorrow.

Anything to add? 5

2004-05-13 - 5:35 p.m.

it's now completely official. The call came this morning: the adoption agency has received our travel approvals. We have our travel meeting Monday night and will be leaving for China on May 28th. I will be coming home with the baby on June 11th...

About 30 minutes after the phone rang and I got all the info, I had a minor freak-out! Yesterday, I cried while watching TV. Today, I sort of had a panic attack: heart racing, can't catch my breath, dizziness.....

The truth is, I'm on track. The baby's room is completely painted, her furniture is being delivered tomorrow and has soon as I figure out where it'll go, I'll paint the mural around it. My suitcase is more or less packed, give or take a few items.

The house, however is not ready to be moved.... We need to actually both be here at the same time long enough to pack up our crap. But between meeting with the alarm company, the gaz company, the pool boys, the junk-removers, and the actual painting and installing of things, we can't be at the same place at the same time.... Thankfully, my mom has worked the morning shift at the store all week and will do the same next week.

Hopefully I won't start having too many moments of panic between now and departure day (yah, right!). There are officially 14 days left before the trip, probably about 16 before I meet my daughter.....

Anything to add? 13

2004-05-11 - 9:32 p.m.

we signed on the new house this morning, and by 3 pm, I already had a coat of primer covering the baby's room...

The next two weeks are going to be the busiest, crasiest weeks of my entire existance, but somehow, I gotta get through it.

We have sort of accepted that my husband cannot make the trip and trying to look at the positives: he can set up the house, keep an eye on the store, supervise the kitchen renovation, get the pool ready (!!!!), all the things we were going to be worried about while we were away.

I have to admit, this is the type of scenario that has had me worried for years. On our second date, he told me about having cystic fibrosis. By our 5th date, I knew I would marry him, it didn't matter to me. But I've always wondered what our life will be like, when things start to slow him down. We don't dwell on his illness. As a matter of fact, it plays a very minimal role in our lives. It's an hour of treatment a day, but it doesn't keep up from doing anything we want to do. Except it's a progressive disease, and one of these days, hopefully many many years from now, it will start to slow him down.

This is the first decision we've had to make based on his illness, and it's sort of made it a bit too real right now.

Switching to mindless blatherings: I'm happy Amber won Survivor, and I was touched by the proposal.... OK, I 'm a total sucker!!! And I watched some moments of The Swan..... Oy! One lady looked OK afterwards, but all 3 others could have been poster girls for Plastic Surgery Gone Bad!!! Seriously. The lips! The eyes! Joan Rivers meets Jennifer Grey!

Anything to add? 2

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