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COMMENTS:
Marla - 2005-01-22 15:03:56
See, the thing is, both of my nieces went through the feeding everyone when they were toddlers. In fact, my husband got chicken pox because my nices was feeding him with her plastic doll spoon. But, then again, I'm no expert. I just think these things get confusing sometimes between what is normal and abnormal, no?
Did they give you any advice about making her more attached?
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Kate - 2005-01-22 15:47:03
Thanks for sharing the behaviors... I was curious what they might be. You're a great mom to be so concerned- Dumpling is one lucky girl!
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Amber - 2005-01-22 16:30:49
It seems like the hugging thing could be a good opportunity to reinforce the idea of "family," You know, with you, dumpling and your husband, and refuse to do the group hug with other people. When the three of us hug, we always say "Happy Family!" Now M. asks for "happy family" when she wants to cuddle with both of us. I have read that indiscrminant affection can be a problem, but I have never really read any suggestions about how you are supposed to deal with it.
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Cece - 2005-01-22 23:58:57
Actually, the sharing thing isn't that abnormal amongst that age grouping. At play group it's not uncommon at all to have a little one run up to one of us and try to stuff banana into our mouthes, and yes, it extendes beyond the play group setting... Bren has been known to "offer" perfect strangers and mere aquaintances chips, fruit, parts of his sandwiches. (By offer I mean he stands on his tip toes and puts said food item right on a person's mouth.) Thankfully if you tell him "No, that's for you, you can eat it." he normally does without another thought. He also does the "must share every toy I have" thing. Personally, I wouldn't be too worried about those "odd behaviors," Bren's nurse isn't, I'm not either.
Also, at their age, they're still figuring out the wonderful world of relationships. Getting hugs from people has become common place, and the added group hug has also become established as "something you do", a tool used to express the happiness she feels and wants to share with... well, with everyone! With a little more time, she's going to figure out that the group hugs are something meant for family. You're a mom, so I won't try the "don't worry so much," but, at least try to relax a tad, it sounds like she's doing better then you're giving yourself credit for.
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Theresa - 2005-01-23 17:29:28
When I was a baby, my parents never had to put up the rail to the crib, because I never tried to climb out. Apparently, I used to just wake up, and sit in the crib, playing with whatever was in there and wait for my parents to come get me...
I think it could also just be that she is an unadventurous baby... I was very much an unadventurous one...
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mortimersmom - 2005-01-23 22:38:51
obviously, each of the Dumpling's behaviours is not alarming per say. What the seminar was trying to point out is that a child that exhibits so many of these behaviours, all put together, could be showing signs of long-term bonding/attachment issues. Some parents will not recognize this because all the behaviours can be found in non-adopted children. But in a few years time (apparently when they start school is the worst), all of a sudden, lots of things come up to the surface.
I
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Cagey - 2005-01-24 00:19:21
Thank you for sharing that with us. I think, in the end, that it is great that you are cognizant of potential issues and are willing to look them in the eye. Don't be too hard on yourself, though and even if you are - well, that is just part of being a mother (being too hard on yourself, that is). Hang in there!
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