investing in earplugs

2004-07-10 - 5:00 p.m.

"How much did she cost?"

Probably the same as your facelift.

I keep telling myself that will be the answer next time someone asks me. But when the rude questions come, I can't remember any *shut-you-right-up* answers. Karen wrote a great post about insensitivity towards internationally adopted children. I've been living it for 4 weeks now. I thought it would be easy. I live in a huge multicultural city. Plus, my province has the highest numbers of babies from China adopted anywhere in the world. So most often, the comments you do get are of the "my cousin/neighbour/hairdresser" adopted from China, usually followed by some assanine comments like "they're good at math, they're so well behaved, they're quiet and pretty". Really? Well I suck at math and my husband is no Einstein in the department either, so unless she had an amazing capacity for figuring out her homework by herself, I'm guessing her math skills will be average at the most. And as for being well behaved and quiet, where are they when she starts to holler at the top of her lungs or bite and kick until I'm bleeding...

Of course, most of the time, she is an angel. The biggest blessing in my life. And that brings me to my next biggest pet peeve comment. "You've done such a Miztvah" or "you've saved her life and made hers so much better". Grant it, she will have love and caring and possibilities that she would never had had in China, but to me, to my husband, the miracle is the other way around. WE are the lucky ones. SHE has enriched OUR lives and changed them for the better.

So far, she barely understands the difference between yes and no, so these commments are easy to deal with and shrug off, but what about when she understands?

My hubby's dear friend, who happens to be a total jackass, funny, but a real jerk, leaves funny messages on our machine all the time: it's the rabbi calling, we saw you at McDonalds, or it's the stripper from your stag, I'm preggers type of message. Today, he said he was Dumpling's real mother, could she please call back soon.... I'm sure he thought he was hilarious, and his imitation of a chineese woman was actually pretty dead on, but all I kept thinking was "did she understand that?"

I know she didn't, she probably didn't even hear it, but it just made me think about all the other things she'll overhear in her life... I should have earplugs put in....

Anything to add? 5

another fabulous day!

2004-07-07 - 11:08 p.m.

it's the little things that get me. The way she runs around like a whirling dervish or a broken mechanical bear, and then sees me and runs right back to me, laughing her head off.

Or the way the manages to find every single thing I try to hide from her behind the pillows (ok, maybe I need better hiding spots!)

Hubby finds her messy eating to be the hardest on him: he's a neat freak. I find the loss of my free time in the evening to be hardest on me. It's not like I didn't know it would happen, but I didn't think I would have to spend an hour and half rocking her and putting her to sleep, only to have her wake up a few minutes later and start all over. We're still working on that part.

But the little everyday things, like the way she screams her head off in delight when the dogs come home from doggy daycare, or how she's learned to wave bye-bye since she's been home. Those are the things that tug at my heart strings and make me so thankful we have her in our lives.

Yes, I'm very reflective today. After harassing rabbies left and right, my little baby went to the Mikveh today and officially became jewish. it's done. They can never take this away from her. She was a champ. Her dad had to actually do the dunking and he was a nervous wreck, but they both came through with flying colors.

Another fabulous day....

Anything to add? 7

oh what a wonderful day!

2004-07-06 - 11:42 p.m.

so hubby and I cooperated today and I got an extra long shower, with armpit AND leg shaving, and I threw in a deep condiditioning treatment for good measure.... if not on your birthday, then when? (Also, the time it takes me to shave my legs is about equal to the treatment, so really, it wasn't too indulgent).

then I went to work for the first half of the day, which was actually a bit of a treat. I miss work. I LOVE being home with Dumpling, but I miss running the show, knowing what's going on with the stock, seing the customers.... so I got to go in til 2 and serve a few people. I even had a one day sale for no other reason than I'm the boss and I said so, on my bday!

Then I came home in time to spend an hour with the jumping bean before my mother came over for our first official babysitting event. She took over for a few hours while I tried to find something to do. But having lost all my organizing skills in the last month, I found myself with nowhere to go, so I just bought some yarn (which I will never get around to knitting!) and had a coffee at Starbucks. I returned home in time to get dressed in my snazzy new skirt and have hubby meet me and take me out for a lovely bday dinner. My dad came over to help my mom and they spent the dinner hours with thier grandchild. I don't want to know what they fed her or what games they tought her, it's probably best if I don't know!!!

We had a lovely dinner and came home to the season premiere of the all time best reality show: TAR5!!!!

What can I say about a show with a gimpy grandpa, dumbass blond twins and a little person that kicks butt! Go Myrna! I mean, she won't win, the physicality will get in the way, but they're in the middle of the pack right now, yeah!

All in all, a fabulous day. hubby and baby showered me with lovely presents (some fab funky jewelry, a half day at the spa and a fantastic rose-shaped baking pan).

I know she'll probably wake up 10 times during the night and make me curse, but right now, nothing could ruin this awsome day!

Anything to add? 3

happy bday to me!

2004-07-06 - 8:11 a.m.

today, I am 34 years old. And a mom. That part is still totally surreal. The 34 part is completely un-noticable.... For the first time in a long time, I have been totally unaware of this upcoming bday. Too busy taking care of the jumping-bean to notice.

I did spoil myself with a few new skirts in the last few days, but I would have probably done so anyways. I'm a bit tired of buying bibs and formula! I felt like doing a tiny bit of self-indulgent shopping. But the thing is, when will I really get a chance to wear these cute skirts? Tonight, for a quiet dinner with hubby while my parents attempt to baby sit alone for the first extended period. But after that, I will have to try to wear skirts to playgroups if they are ever going to see the outside of my closet!

(PS I tried to link exactely to one of the skirts on the bcbg.com website, but these fancy catalogues don't let you go to the skirt directly in a link. If you are dying to know, click on categories, skirts, it's the first one, with horizontal stripes....)

ok, must take advantage of bday to milk husband for a little me time: a shower AND shaving my legs! happy bday to me!!!!!

Anything to add? 11

yoga-wear mommy

2004-07-03 - 11:31 p.m.

Things I'm learning to do as a new mother of a 15 month old:

-puting on a thong while holding a squirming baby

-peeing and keeping squirming baby from toppling over the laundry basket (we need a better laundry basket)

-getting chicken and stars out of hair before company comes over (note: did you know that Chicken and Stars makes a fabulous hair product, if you're going for that punk-rock hard-as-can-be hairdo....)

-transfering sleeping baby from couch or carpet where she fell asleep to her crib, without waking her up. I'm not very good at this yet, but it's an art I must learn to master, QUICKLY!

Things I must learn to do as a new mother of a 15 month old:

-showering, brushing my teeth, brushing my hair

-not giving the baby back food or toys that she drops on the floor or that the dogs get too.... But then again, she sticks her own hands in their mouths, so what's the difference, right?

Also, I'm turning into an episode of What Not to Wear. I use to watch both the Brit and US versions, and whenever they had young moms in yoga/jogging outfits, I would wonder: How much harder would it be to put on a pair of kakis and a cute top rather than dingy stretch pants and an old t-shirt. Turns out, it's MUCH HARDER!!!! I have no sense of style left. When I brought the baby home, we went on a mommy and me expedition to The Gap, where I bought several pairs of trendy and cute pants for the season, in red, purple and of course, pink. And you know what? They look very nice hanging in my closet (because the cleaning lady put them there: I have no time to hang my clothes!)

I had this one pair of black yoga pants that I took to China. I was wearing them so much, I went out and bought another pair. And then my SIL gave me a pair for my upcoming birthday (tuesday). And since they were all black, I went out and bought a baby-blue pair.... I'm turning into yoga-wear mommy, who doesn't do yoga but wears the clothes! ARRRGHHHH!!!

Anything to add? 2

back among the connected

2004-07-02 - 9:14 p.m.

I haven't deserted you guys, and I haven't turned into a *mom* that doesn't have time for anything else.... not quite.... I was in computer hell for 2 weeks. First, my laptop screen fizzeled and needed a new inverter of some sort (still under warrantee, but mom-hood was getting in the way of dropping it off) and then our home pc konked out on us.

But it was worse than that.

After spending 6 hours saving the video from China onto the computer and then 4 hours editing it into a tidy 40 minute clip reel for the party guests, the hard drive crashed and burned. As in *no operating system found* blue screen of death.... the night befvore the party. So there was no DVD to be watched, we couldn't even hook up the tapes themselves because they were taped on the camera I bought in China to save me from the broken camera, and it's European, so it doesn't play on my Canadian TV.

I tell you, I was in pc hell.....

The baby, however, is heaven! She's started eating somewhat, although it's a gigantic mess, most of it ends up in her hair or the dogs' stomach (floor first, but those two canine hoovers are just ready and waiting for anything she throws their way!!!), but slowly, she's actually getting some in her mouth and into her stomach. She loves her daddy now. Willingly goes to him even when I'm around, actually tries to play us off each other if it suits her purposes. She's 15 months and she can't speak, but man can she manipulate!!!!!

The garden party in her honor was a smash! Upwards of 80 people plus 20 odd little ones running around. She was a bit skittish at first, but she's quite the star and loves beign the center of attention, so she came into her own qutie quickly! The loot she got was totally embarassing. For an orphanage baby with a dirty diaper and plastic sandals to her name a month ago, she was showered with clothes and toys like you wouldn't believe. My side of the family went totally overboard, as she is the first of the next generation in all branches of both my mother's and father's families. People who hadn't spoken to each other in years made ammends to attend this party to get a look at her!

Well, now that I'm back online, I promise to bore you with tiny details of her life on a regular basis.

Anything to add? 4


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Copyright Mortimerís Mom 2004. But just ask, I give my permission easily!