2003-07-04 - 10:07 a.m.
7 days down, 7 days to go before we can get our blood test. Yesterday, I felt absolutely no physical symptoms what so ever, which had me a bit worried. But this morning, my boobs are achy again and I've got those weird ovarian flutters again, so it still is a possibility.....
Last night's TAR episode was OK. not the best one so far, but I have to admit, that train ride totally scared me. I would not have been able to get on there and get groped like that. And finally, Phil ditched the turtleneck!
I've caught part of a special on the Movie Network last night that totally captivated me: An Evening With Kevin Smith. I love Kevin Smith. I think he is a brillant film-maker. He doesn't take himself too seriously and is pretty blunt about the fact he can't beleive people keep throwing money at him to make movies..... This special is basically a series of Q&A evenings at big universities across the states. The special is super long, mostely due to the fact that when he is asked a basic question, he'll answer with an anecdote that will last 20 to 25 minutes. I was too tired to watch, so I taped the last hour and a half. Since Regis is a repeat due to the 4th of July (hello, the rest of the world isn't on vacation!), I watched a bit more of the special this morning. Not much can make me laugh outloud early in the morning, but Kevin Smith telling the story of his meetings with the producer of Superman Lives, and the giant spider, that was absolutely priceless!
Anything to add? 2 the non-exciting upcoming b-day
2003-07-03 - 11:34 a.m.
I feel I've got a second entry in me today.... I realise that my 33rd birthday is now only 3 days away, and somehow, it hasn't been on my mind at all. I'm usually a big b-day person. My little brother's b-day is a month before mine, so usually, his party is the opening of my gift-hinting season. I'll leave magazines open, I'll mention ads or things I saw, I'm not suttle at all... But this year, I really haven't been into it.
I did plan our big bbq for saturday night, the day before my b-day, but most people that are invited don't know about the next day, and I really am not planning on telling anyone. And the couple of people who do know, I told them the party had nothing to do with my b-day.
Part of it I'm sure has to do with the stress of the in-vitro, but part of it is also that I guess as I get older, I'm less and less into my b-day. Grant it, I might regret it on the day of when no one calls or makes a fuss!!!!
One thing I will miss is my grandma's card and 10$ check in the mail. My whole life, she sent every grandchild a card and a 10$ check. Near the end of her life, I stopped cashing them in, just kept them in the card for posterity.... She died almost 3 years ago now, and I realise that I wasn't very close to her. But on my bday, I could always count on her card......
My mother was asking for gift ideas last week and I really couldn't think of anything. I don't want her to buy me clothes, she has no sense of what I like, so I told her I had been eyeing and ice-cream maker. I have. Been eyeing one. How often I would use it I have no idea, but getting non-dairy Kosher sorbets is so difficult, I figured I could just make it myself!
Well, that's it, the second entry. Nothing spectacular, but it just had to come out!
Anything to add? 0 early morning starvation
2003-07-03 - 10:30 a.m.
it's 10:30am and I'm starving.... I had a decent breakfast this morning, better than usual (bread with cheese and some fruit), but now I'm totally hungry. This is very unusual for me...
I had a weird night too. There was nothing on tv, I watched a show I had recorded and then talked with one of my bridesmaids, whom I haden't spoken to since right after the wedding last year! (we're not very good at keeping in touch) She and her b-friend are coming to our bbq this weekend. I can't wait to see them.
After we hung up at around 10 pm, Iwaxed my legs in preparation for my spray-tan, read a little East of Eden and then tried to go to sleep. After about 45 minutes of tossing and turning, I gave up and went back downstairs to watch Letterman, well, some of Letterman anyways, because I just couldn't concentrate.... how zombie-like are you when you can't concentrate on Letterman????? I finally gave up, turned off the tv and fell asleep on the couch.
My boobs aren't very sore today.... I'm trying very hard not to read too much into that. It's not working. Up unitl yesterday, I felt like "Something" was hapening inside my body, maybe not pregnancy, but definately some sort of post-implentation effects. But since last night, I don't really feel it anymore. I know, I know, I have to wait til the test on the 11th, but it's so hard not to think about it.
Thank G-d it's TAR4 tonight. Go Virgins! Go NFLettes! Bye Bye Kelly and Jon or the Models....
Anything to add? 0 canada day - day of great rest
2003-07-02 - 9:59 a.m.
Yesterday was Canada Day. A National Holiday. What did we do? Vegged around all morning, weeded the herb garden (sometimes, I can't tell the herbs and weeds apart), watched a lot of daytime tv (Oprah's warning to parents just scraed the hell out of us....) and went to see a late afternoon movie: Owning Mahoney I linked you to a review, which does a much better job than I ever could reviewing and recapping. Not only is it a truly great story, but Philp Seymor Hoffman, one of my favorite actors, gives an Oscar-worthy performance as the pathetic gambler. Too bad the picture was realeased so early in the year, the Oscar people will never get to see it.
It's very difficult for me not to read anything into some of the physical symptoms I'm experiencing. First, I'm very tired. Second, my boobs are killing me! They are sore and hardly fit in my bras. Of course, it could just be from the high doses of progesterones I'm still injecting everyday. I just don't know how I will keep myself from doing a home pregnancy test before the hospital test. I know I shouldn't, but it will take all my willpower not too.
I finished "Thoughts Wile Having Sex" last night and will start East of Eden later today. I'm treating myself to a spray tan tomorrow afternoon, so as to have a lovely color for our BBQ Saturday night. Which reminds me, I'm meant to be looking for a flourless, dairy free cake recipe....
Anything to add? 0 Mortimer can swim and I haven't lost my mind yet
2003-06-30 - 2:29 p.m.
Boy! the last few entries, combined with a Banner attack have brought a lot of new readers and a lot of lovely words of support and encouragement. Thank you all so much! It really helps!
So we were very very bad on Saturday. We drove. To hubby's sister's cottage to go spend the day playing with her kids, relaxing and teaching Mortimer to swing int he lake. I'm sure most of you are wondering what's bad about this, but to my fellow modern orthodox jews, it's self explanatory. We don't drive on Saturday. We go to Synagogue.
But the week we had last week was so very draining, so very stressfull, we both needed a big dose of relaxation and enjoyement. So we elected to go. Nobody made us, we just went. And you know what, we had a great time! The dog learned to really swim and even went on a boat ride (I stayed on shore, feeling a tad queasy). We had a great time playing with hubby's nephew and niece, and Mortimer didn't bark once. He's really growing into a much calmer dog. He ran around and swam so much, he slept the whole, long drive home. He NEVER sleeps in the car!
I also finished Harry Potter: great book! I already want to read the next one, which of course, is probably 2-3 years away. I'm just finishing Thoughts While Having Sex and will dive into East of Eden next.
I'm hoping all this reading, together with a healthy dose of the new TLC show (Trading Spaces Family) will keep me from losing my mind until the test on July 11th.
LAst week, I felt like cancelling the big we've planned for Saturday night. I just couldn't imagine spending an entire evening with people, making nice and chit-chatting. But now, I can't wait. I want to hear people talk about what's going on in their lives, tell me their stories and think about someone other than me for an entire evening!
11 days to go til we find out....
Anything to add? 2
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